Going home

I was able to sit down today with 2 of Aaron's co-workers/friends to help me with the pictures from the desert that I have of Aaron. I would have never known some of the things that they did while in combat. Now my kids will know them as well. The time that we all shared together today was amazing. We reminisced about Aaron. We cried some, or should I say I cried some, and we laughed too. I felt so honored that they would take their time and help me with this. I am forever grateful. Thank you!

I was torn today when I had to leave. I had such a nice time while there in Florida but, was ready to come home to my children. The 1st flight was wonderful. It was right at sunset. We took off and you could see the sun just peeking through the clouds, the bright red-orange glow was glistening off of the coast line. I sure thought the sunset was beautiful the other day from the beach but up in the sky watching it from the plane it was just breath-taking. I sat gazing out the window the whole time at the beauty that God created. I couldn't help but thinking that this was the view that Aaron saw day in and day out while flying there in Florida. Makes me want to fly more!

After arriving to Memphis I had a 2 hour layover. I grabbed some peppermint hot chocolate(it's the bomb) and watched some fox news. We boarded the plane and then it hit me, I was going back to the place where Aaron died, Arkansas. I cried the whole flight home. I sure am glad that no one was sitting next to me on this flight. I am at the point of being mad. Mad that we moved here, mad that Aaron is not here, mad that I have to do this by myself, mad that the kids will grow up not knowing their father, it's just not fair. I know that God doesn't promise us that life will be fair but, I just can't help to feel that way. It's just a stage of grief I know, and I thought that I wasn't going to go through it. But here it is looking me in the face. I think that is why I don't want to be here anymore. Then I just keep reminding myself of Jer 29:11.