Saturday, December 8, 2007

emptiness

I just sit here staring and starting at this blank blog wondering what to write tonight. Like normal I am unable to sleep. I think I have felt every emotion that one person could possibly have in one day. Frustration, anger, sadness, loneliness, numbness, laughter, gratefulness, warmth, happiness, peace, joy....... I think that I have experienced all of them at some point today.


I spoke to a friend to day that Aaron called a dear friend. They remind me of Aaron in so many ways. Thank you for sharing some stories with me today. (you know who you are) It meant a great deal to me. I hope that we are able to share more stories with each other.



I loved being a wife to Aaron and that was stripped away, I absolutely loved every part of it.



I know that God has a purpose and a plan for my life (Jer 29:11) and that every thing happens for a reason but right now I just can't see it. Will I ever?



Will I ever be whole again?
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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Christina,
The world would have us believe that marriage is just a piece of paper but when one enters this commitment we soon enjoy the thrills and happiness of sharing everything with our mate. But only in death do we feel the truth of "and the two shall become one". For immediately the ripping starts like two objects glued together and the only way to separate them is to rip apart. It's not a smooth process but each part suffers bits and pieces pulled away. But think back of yourself before Aaron and now think of what was deposited from him that has made you what you are now (I'm not forgetting what the Lord has done). We grow and mature because of the influence of those in our life. I'm the parent and yet I can think back on many instances talking with Aaron and he convicted me of not giving more of my time for others, not reading my Bible enough or not being more evangalistic. I'm more whole,you're more whole because of what Aaron put into your life. Having said that I know that the pain of separation is there and will be for some time. This only proves how strong your love for Aaron and his for you. Know that our love and prayers are with you and the children. The pain and emotions David and I have cannot compare to the loss you're feeling for your helpmate.
xoxoxo Mother

Monday, December 10, 2007 at 6:50:00 AM CST

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