I only have a few minutes to get caught up for today.......
Yesterday we went to the gym and then I took the kids to the park, Bennett has had a fever off and on so we didn't do much yesterday. I did have company over for the college championship game. Some copped out and didn't come but that is ok it left more food for us. I am off today to take Lanie to school and Bennett to get a throat culture dons because his throat is very red. I will also be doing some errands that I needed to do last week but hadn't gotten around to it. Now I have to do them with a whiny sick kid, oh well tis life I guess.
Samuel's counseling apt went well, She spoke with me 1st and then to Samuel. The counselor that we are seeing also lost her dad when she was 5 so there is a connection there with Samuel already. I know now that I definitely need to go and talk with somone too. I thought I was doing ok until I talked with her for a few minutes. I found that I am not doing enough grieving because of all of the everyday life stuff and trying to be strong for the kids. She didn't say this at all, I just heard that small still voice telling me it is ok and that I need to do this too.
Samuel is dealing with the last moments that he and his dad had together before Samuel went off to school that morning. They had a little confrontation and Samuel had a chip on his shoulder when Aaron dropped them off for school. So he is dealing with the pain of not telling Aaron that he loved him. I try to make him realize that his Daddy knew that he loved him even though he didn't tell him when he was dropped off for school.
Have a wonderful day....God Bless you all, Christina
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Fort Walton Beach Thanksgiving 07
Our very own site to help stay connected with friends and family abroad.
About Me
The Kids and Me
Fort Walton Beach Thanksgiving 07
favorite links
others blogs
Blog Archive
-
▼
2008
(66)
-
▼
January
(21)
- Friends
- Samuel
- playin catch-up
- challengeful situations
- past experiences/new experiences
- bad days
- comments
- somewhere in the middle
- chandler's birthday party
- choices
- some recent photos
- busy weekend
- single life...yuck
- birthdays
- catch up
- God hand
- I will praise him through the storm
- anonymous comments
- back to school
- new year's day
- January 1st
-
▼
January
(21)
5 comments:
Wow! I can not even begin how Samual is feeling. God bless his heart. Christina you and the children are so heavy on my heart that I can not even focus on myself. I love each and every one of you. Please be strong but also know you need to grieve when everyone is gone to bed and it is just you. That is your time. You are doing a wondeful job and I know Aaron is so proud of you right now. Remember he is your guardian angel. Love ya thanks for letting us know how the appointment went. Jeanne I pray that Bennett is feeling better.
I'm glad to hear that Samuel's visit with the counselor went well. New Years Day he talked more about his dad than he had to me in the past, but I could tell he was thinking about more than he was saying.
Is Bennett feeling any better? Hopefully the others won't catch it!
Everyone deals with loss in different ways. Whether it is death or other types of loss, it still needs to be dealt with. I'm the type that has to talk it out. If someone asks how I'm doing, I'll tell them. I think I'm this way to a fault..but it works. Others grieve/deal with things completely opposite, keeping it bottled up. For me, it takes a lot longer to cope, if I don't talk about it. I think of the most helpful things for me was one weekend when I went to see my Mother, I went for a ride on my Daddy's tractor. I know how much time he spent on it, and it was a way to get some closure. (It wasn't a short ride). You said that it sometimes seems like you are just waiting for him to return from one of his military trips and expecting him to walk through the door. When the time is right, you'll feel it. Probably when you least expect it.
Anyway, I hope Bennett is feeling better, Samuel and Chandler are "enjoying" each other's company (not fighting), and Lanie stays as sweet as ever. Oh..and if you need to, get out the boxing gloves and go to work on the punching bag. If your punch requires more sand to keep it on the patio, there's always more sand! Hit it hard!
Later, rc
Tho the day seems long and the night seems endless. Look toward the eastern sky and focus on what is to come.Our LORD! Leaving on not a good note is sometimes difficult and sometimes unbearable but deep in his heart he may beat himself up over the fact. But the one sure thing is that there is always a moment in time when he can release the staticey feeling and realize that many situations can be left undone as we all are.take hold to what is good Samuel.Your father understood how you felt because he was once a young man too and we can all look back and remember the not so good times with our loved ones. But this is true and will always stand. God is gonna use you tremenduosly and give you an Expected end. To see your Lord and your Father again. Samuel, I understand how you feel and it really hurts still today but through God's Grace remember how your Dad Displayed that in your family and the Church family.I too wish I could have left Aaron on a better note than I did and it is easy to focus on what could have been said differently and having a better note to be. But try to focus on the note he left you with.Thru the storm will always be sunshine when the clouds disipate. And you are what you call greiving from the loss and despair. But I know that I know that such a righteous King is peering over those clouds and he smiles at such a great creation and you think upon that and KNOW that you have the mind of Christ upon YOU!!!
I thought so much about Samuel yesterday, praying that he would open up about his feelings. Oh Samuel if you could only have heard the many times your daddy talked to me about you. From the very beginning of your life he was so proud of you and would tell me how cute and adorable you are. He thought you were the smartest kid and let me know you had a tender heart toward others. He took credit for teaching you to swim at your grandpa Macs' pool and once we were there in the pool with you when he would take you under water. He grinned ear to ear and said "did you see that, he loved it". When he would call us he would always have something to say about what you were learning and doing. He was so very proud of the job you were doing in mowing the lawn and how great a job you did, and you know how fussy he was about the lawn. Guess he got that from me when we lived on the farm. It excited him that you enjoyed camping and riding bikes like he did. And you would have thought you were a 200 pound guard when he would tell of your football games, he was truly proud of you and loved you dearly. You were his first born and a parent always has a very special bond for their first. And he was no different than you in that if he had been given some time before he left us he would have thought of people that he should have said something to also. This whole experience has taught us some valuable lessons of not putting off telling others that we love and appreciate them. You see your dad is still teaching us !!! I love you Samuel and you will live your life in a special way that the Lord is directing. It wouldn't have been my choice, but Gods ways are sometimes not our ways. I myself am trying to see the good that has come from all this and some days it's difficult, I must admit. But your dad loved and gave himself for others when he was here, that he was a perfect servant to use even his death for God's plan in the life of others. Now that is special to think that God, who created all the beatiful things we enjoy, can use little ole people like us. WOW Take care Samuel and know that Grammy and Pap love you so much !!!
Christina, i am thinking of you today I know it is Aarons Birthday taday, And I want to tell you that You are being thought of and My prayers goes out to you. Remember that God will carry you through the storm and that we love you Have a peaceful day Love Jeanne
Post a Comment