As I drove into the parking lot of the courthouse I started felling this overwhelming felling of loss. I started feeling like I am not in a bad dream after all.... this is my life now and it is real. I sat in my car with Beth and just prayed. I prayed that I would know what to say, I prayed that what they would tell me would be positive, and that I could keep myself composed during the meeting. The meeting was very informative about what might take place and the sentencing and possibly a trial. I found out that I will actually have to be there at the trial and I will have to speak! Not about the accident but, how Aaron's death has affected us each individually and as a family. I am not sure how I will be able to do this, especially in front if the girl who ran the stop sign that day back in October. Just thinking about it now gets me teary eyed. The trial, if it happens, will either be April or June. In May I have planned a trip to go to PA for Memorial Day to visit Aaron's grave site and to spend time with his family. I am not going to go into any more details about this because I do not know who reads this blog and I don't want to say anything that I shouldn't be.
For the 1st time I started feeling angry that all of this is happening. I know that anger is one of the grief stages but, I hadn't really felt much of that until yesterday. I have felt a little of it in the past but nothing like yesterday. I even got upset and defensive with a friend of mine yesterday afternoon and there was no need to. Just in case you read this from way over where you are, I'm sorry.
Thank you to all of you who prayed for me specifically yesterday morning.
~Always Looking up~ Christina
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