Hey Everyone....long time no blog!! Sorry about that. There is no excuses besides life and that I am really trying to focus on what is most important, which is our Heavenly Father. I am as always looking for guidance and direction from him.
Satan is working overtime tying to get just a little foot in the door in the McCoy family. I have battled with idolatry this week as well as jealousy. I'm not sure why Aaron was taken from us at such a young age but when I read a chapter earlier this week in my bible study it was on idolatry and how things or people can take the place of God in our lives. My struggle is not things, my struggles are people. I looked up to Aaron in many ways and lately I have been questioning if God took him because I held Aaron so high up there. I hope that God wouldn't have taken him because of my feelings toward Aaron, I would hope to think that He would have done something else to wake me up in that situation. I might be dealing with some of the "its my fault grieving issues" now.
Yesterday I needed to go and get shoes for the boys....they are growing like weeds, especially Samuel. So I called 5 different families to see if they could keep the 2 younger kids for me so that I could go just to get shoes but everyone was busy yesterday. (of course they were, it was a beautiful day) So I loaded them up and took them to the store to find shoes. I won't do that again!! The 2 little ones were just being kids but for me it was so embarrassing. All I remember is that it's not fair that I don't have Aaron here to help me with them. I never thought of that as being jealous before but that is what our lesson in SS was on this week and I couldn't help tying the 2 together. Maybe I am jealous of others who have their spouses and I don't. Maybe is just that I am longing to have that back.
Sundays are SOOOOOO hard for me. I cry almost all day long. I feel as though I am being attacked on Sunday's all day, from the time I get up till the time I go to bed. I even feel attacked at church. That is not how it is suppose to be. That is where I am suppose to be the most comfortable and I am not. I know that part of it is that Aaron was always with me there and now he is isn't. Please pray for us especially on Sunday's.
Always looking up...even in the valley ~Christina~
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3 comments:
Christina,
Well, like always, I typed my normal comment that was like a chapter in a book. After I wrote it, I read it and then erased it. All I really need to say is that I'm praying for you and the kids. If you need anything, you know the number.
Later, RC
"This little light of mine....I'm gonna let it shine...This little light of mine...I'm gonna let it shine...This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. Let it shine, Let it shine, Let it shine!"
You have taken this very simple song and made it reality in your own life...you have encouraged me so many times whether reading your blogs, speaking to you, or in a simple text message. It is my turn to give back!
At the mention of the name of Jesus, satan has to flee. I had to do that myself this weekend. With my ex-wife getting married on friday and it not even been a year since she left, this weekend was pretty rough for me. I was at the mall with Geoff and I was doin the same thing....looking at other couples walking around holding hands and having a good time....I thought to myself, how unfair...I really do miss that. But then I was reminded by something that you said to me a couple of weeks ago. That I needed to be content in my situation and the Lord would bring me through! You are right! (of course) I just began to say the name of Jesus over and over again. The more I said His name the better I started to feel. My circumstances are still as they are, but I am doin better and thank God I have a friend such as you to help in this.
Lord, I thank you for your mercy and your grace. I pray now that you would surround Christina, Samuel, Chandler, Lanie and Bennett with your arms of Love. Post your Angels of protection with them everywhere they go. I know this life can be difficult but as we keep looking up and focus upon you, trusting in you, our faith and hope can be strengthened. Thank you for all that you do for us, I love you Lord and I thank you for hearing my prayer tonight....Amen
I.A.T.F.Y
Christina,
Please try not to blame yourself. The Lord I am sure would not want you to be feeling like that. Please know that you are ALWAYS in my prayers. Here I am sitting today and complaining That I am tired of my life and my marriage (Very Norma) in a stressful life), Wanting to give up and I read your blog and I would never want to live without my other half, God is using you in so many of our lifes and I want to thank Him for that. Between you and Shannon( whom i do not even know) are blessing me so much. The songs that Shannon has down loaded on her blog I was getting ready for Church this morning (Strugging in my everyday life) The Lord touched me with her songs Thanks Shannon Christina please keep the faith It sounds like you are doing a good job Love ya Jeanne
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