the journey continues

We are now in South Carolina at my mothers house. Not sure if the time change is effecting my sleep but I am very worn out.....it could be all of the traveling and wanting to be home. Oh well, what ever it is God will get me through it, like he always does.
We have been here 2 days and the boys are already on restriction to their rooms for the day. When will the sibling rivalry end? does it ever end? We were suppose to go rafting today but that trip got canceled as soon as we got in the car to leave. I sure hope that they learn their lesson today!!! I am getting worn out with their attitudes. It will soon pass as all things do!!! (me being positive) Since they are restricted today the rest of us are just hanging out here at my moms not doing much of anything, that is why I am on this thing or other wise I probably wouldn't be writing right now.
For the past 2 days we have gone fishing & tubing, the kids have ridden the golf cart all around the property, we drove to Seneca and Clemson and saw lots of things and stopped at the botanical gardens on our way there we stopped at the self-serve produce market where we saw two loose pigs eating all of the corn and cantaloupe and anything else that they could find on the ground. For those of you city folk that don't know what a self serve produce market is let me explain.....it is where you pick up your produce and leave the money in a jar and the owner comes at the end of the day to pick up the money that was left. It is based on the honor system. That sure wouldn't work in many many towns in the U.S. That is a shame.
The kids are getting hungry so I need to go and get them lunch.

ALWAYS LOOKING UP~CHRISTINA~

late night

Well I'm up and its 2AM...yuck. I can not for the life of me go back to sleep after getting up with Bennett. So here I am on the computer trying to get tired so that I can get a little rest before the 4 children wake up in the moring wanting breakfast. Bennett is usually the 1st one up. It never fails.....he comes over to me while I am still sleeping and says, Mommy I hungy. I first try to get him to go back to sleep with me. Sometimes it works and sometimes it dosen't. Oh well one day he will be getting up and doing it all by himself and I will be wanting to do it for him. I need to enjoy each and every stage that I have with them!

Well the gulfarium trip went well today, even though it rained. That's ok though because it wasn't so hot! The dolphins and sea lions were great. Some of the tricks that they do are just amazing. I got a few pictures but not many because didn't want my camera to get wet. We went to lunch after wards and then layed down for a nap. (yes I took one too, boy did I need it). Then we spent the evening with Rhonda and her family. The food is always so good and the company even better. I eat waaaaay to much when I am here.
Tomorrow(today) we will be going to either the zoo or to the air show because the Blue Angels are in town. I haven't decided yet but I am leaning toward the zoo. I really don't feel like battling the crowds with 4 kids by myself at the navy base. After we do one of the 2 things in the morning Susan and her family are coming over to swim and hang out for a while. Then my sister and I and some friends are going out for dinner(hopefully for a celebration for her)
I am now a little tired and will head off to bed once again for the night. I sure hope that I can get to sleep. 6AM will be here before I know it.

always looking up~ Christina~

playing catchup

Well we are having a blast on our extended trip. As of right now we are in Florida. Today I took the kids on a dolphin cruise. At 1st the kids all liked it. Once we got out into the Gulf of Mexico Lanie didn't care too much for the boat ride anymore. She fussed a little bit and wanted to make sure that she was holding on to me tightly. We did end up seeing some dolphins about halfway through our 2 hour boat trip. It was very relaxing once the kids got settled down. This evening the kids stayed with Grandpa Mac while went out to dinner with my Aunt Kathy and Uncle Tony. We went to Old Bay steamer. That has got to be the best seafood restaurant in the world!

Tomorrow we are heading to the gulfarium and to the zoo with Grandpa Mac then we will be spending the evening with Rhonda and her family at their house.

I'm a little tired tonight and I need to make a phone call so I will go for now. Maybe...just maybe... if your lucky I won't wait a week to write on here again. HAHA Take care and God bless you all!!
always looking up ~Christina~

Well our journey started last Tuesday and we stopped in MS 1st to see friends and family. We had a great time. The boys went fishing 2 days in a row and me and the little kids just took a tour of downtown. We all went to the river and the kids played in the water fountains that shot up out of the ground. They had so much fun. It was very relaxing. Its just what I needed after the stress that I had been under.
We arrived in Fl last night and spent the evening with my sister and her family. Today we will be swimming at the pool and taking them to the movies this afternoon. Tomorrow we are going horseback riding and Friday we are spending the day with the Roberts family at the landing to enjoy the 4th of July.
We came to back to Florida almost every year with Aaron to celebrate the 4th and our anniversary 2 days later. I'm not sure how I will handle being here without him but know that....with Christ I can do all things which strengthens me!!!
The kids are doing very well and seem to be enjoying themselves. I will post again soon, hopefully.

always looking up ~Christina~

on the road again

Please pray for Samuel and I. We seem to be in a power struggle. I am having a hard time with putting my emotions aside therefore, I am being to lenient on him and letting him have to much responsibility and say so. It is hard to know when to be tough and the tell it like it is dad and when to be the sensitive caring mom. I have to keep telling myself he is only 11. he is only 11 HE IS ONLY 11!!!

Well.... we will start our newest journey for the summer tomorrow. Seems like lately we have been living out of our suitcases. I guess you could call us a well traveled family this summer. I am very excited about this next trip that we will be venturing out on tomorrow. We will be visiting family and friends in 3 different states for the next month. The kids are ready to go. They have so much fun in the car playing their game boys, leapsters, watching movies and singing to the music. I have really enjoyed driving to our places of interest. I didn't use to care to go many places, I guess you could call me a home body, but I think that I have broken out of that shell...ya think? With all this traveling and being away form Arkansas I have been really praying about what the Lord would have us do. Do we stay put or do we move? The kids seem much more well behaved when we are not in Arkansas. Not sure if it is because of all of the constant reminders of Aaron's death or if it is just because of a change of scenery. Whatever it is I like how we all get along when we are visiting other places.

I am planning on taking them to the beach, fishing, to the park, a water park, the gulfarium, a dolphin cruise, an Atlanta baseball game and many many other things while we are away. I don't ever want to say I wish I would have spent more time with my kids. God gave them to me for a very short time to train and at the same time I am training them He also wants me to enjoy them too!!

Always looking up ~ Christina~

My Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday...another year older and another year wiser, so they say. I had a wonderful birthday despite the hearing that took place regarding Aaron's accident. The day started with a hot relaxing bath, then I got ready for the hearing. After the hearing, Aaron's parents, my mother and my grandmother went to lunch. We came home and played outside with the kids, swam and had an awesome meal that my mom to cooked just for me. I received many gifts which was not expected. It was a very nice birthday.

I know that many of you are wondering about what happened at the hearing. Aaron's mom, Linda, got up on the stand 1st and spoke. I was next, a co-worker from the base that was Aaron's friend went and then his friend John, that went to Church with us and that was riding with him the day of the accident, went last. I was touched at how deep that Aaron affected the lives of his friends. After we were done there were a few people who spoke on her behalf. Her mother and a doctor spoke then there was a small recess. During the recess she decided to get on the stand. She apologized many times for what had happened and said that she would do anything that we wanted. She received a 500.00 fine and community service speaking at defencive driving courses and possibly for drivers ed courses at the high schools. It was not determined specifically what type of community service exactly but, she will have to do that. I am very happy with the decision that was made, it was exactly what we wanted. If her speaking to others will make people think twice about obeying the traffic laws then maybe that will save someone elses life.
After the hearing Her mother came up to me and apologized and I told her that I forgave her and that I wanted to talk to her. I did in fact do that. I thought that that would be the hardest thing that I would have to do but it wasn't. I was very calm and told her that I forgave her and that there was something that I did in fact want her to do. She said anything, I told her that I wanted her to go to church and that if I had to take her I would. I also told her that I didn't want her trying to take her life and if she tried again that I would be upset with her. I told her that even though Aaron's death has brought a lot of bad to our lives it has also brought a lot of good to and that she could be another good thing that could come from it. She asked me if I wanted her phone # and I said yes. I told her I would call her and she said "you promise?". I told her yes I promise. I hugged her and we both cried.
I know that some of you can't understand how I could have done any of this. It is only because of Jesus Christ being in and a part of my life that I could have ever done it. Jesus forgave me therefore I forgive. 2 Corinthians 2:7 ...... "You ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow."

We are all trying to bring some closure to our lives so that we can live for what is most important and that is for Christ. In Philippians 3:13-14 Paul and and Timothy wrote to the people.... Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Do not take this wrong I will never ever forget Aaron!!!! I choose to forget the accident, the trial and the mistakes that I have made since then.

Always looking up~Christina~

a very difficult question

As I sit here and ponder the question that I am suppose to answer at the trial on Thursday I just can't hold back the tears. They want me to answer the question......How has Aaron's death effected our lives?....... Where do you start or end for that matter?

I have written lots and lots of things down to answer that question but will not publish it right now. After the sentencing on Thursday I might. I'm not sure.
I think that the only reason that I would is to make other people aware that they are putting their life in danger and others lives in danger around them when they make bad choices. I know that a motorcycle rider knows the consequences of riding a bike but, I don't think that they think that the consequences affect more than themselves. Well I have a news flash...IT DOES!!! It affects their entire family and lots of other peoples lives too. If I can make drivers aware that one small tiny bad decision can effect so many peoples lives then maybe, just maybe, they will look twice and slow down before they go about their way in a hurry. That would be the only reason that I would publish what I wrote.

Continuing to look up ~ Christina~

lessons and questions

As I started reading my daily Sunday School lesson yesterday it started off like this......."There may be no greater pain on earth than that which comes with the death of a loved one." Right then I wanted to put the lesson down. Immediately my heart started to hurt. I went on reading the next 2 paragraphs even though I really didn't want to.

When we lose a loved one weather it be a parent, grandparent, a child, a spouse or a dear friend, we all will grieve. We hurt and ache. We grieve over the unfulfilled goals, dreams, and desires that we have in this life because of that loved one being gone. It is like this is because death is so final.

We would think it would be different or that the pain might be less for those of us who are born again believers in Jesus Christ. The only difference is is that we know that our saved loved one is a far better place and that one sweet day we will see them again in Heaven. That does not lessen the hurt, aches, loneliness, and pains that we are going through and will go through while we are still here on earth. We know that we will never see that person again in this life and we will miss them terribly.
The scriptures are provided to help us grow and to learn to lean on HIM. I Thess 4:13 says..."don't grieve as do the rest who have no hope". See, we have the hope that HE will take care of us and that He has a mighty plan on store for our lives. One day we will see all of our loved ones again in Heaven that have a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.

There is nothing at all wrong with allowing ourselves to feel pain when we have lost a loved one. If we didn't then there would be something wrong. When we know Jesus Christ we know that he is there in the mist of the storm and that he cares there will be an element of trust and joy in our tears. HE will keep every promise to us that he has ever made.

I was informed by the prosecuting attorney a while back that at the criminal trial (next week)that I would have to speak on the behalf of our family. I wasn't sure why so, I asked what I would have to speak about. She told me that I would have to answer this question...... How has Aaron's death affected you and your family? In the middle of the lesson that I was studying the same exact question was presented to answer. It said ...How has the death of a loved one affected you? Wow, where do you begin and where does it end? I really have no idea! I could go on and on with answering this question. This will be a very very difficult day for me and our family in more ways than one.

Always looking up ~ Chrisina~

Time just keeps on moving on

I have wanted to write on here every day, but just haven't made it a priority too. I could give you all kinds of excuses as to why I haven't but I will spare you all of them. I am on here now and I know that you are thrilled...haha. I have so many things to write about and thoughts and lessons that the Lord has been teaching me these last 3 weeks but I will not be writing about them just now....I know you are bummed....haha. I just wanted to write a little something before I go out with Angela and her daughter for dinner tonight to let you all know that yes in fact we are all fine and that we have not been M.I.A.(missing in action) We just returned home from a 2 week trip to PA. We all had a great time and had lots of growing, learning and grieving that took place. It was a trip that was not wanted( don't take this wrong all of you who are reading this from PA) but it was well needed!!! I will elaborate later and will be posting lots and lots of pictures. Maybe I will get to this tonight. I sure do hope so!! I miss writing on here and allowing everyone to know how and what we are doing. Take care, and God bless you all!

~always looking up~ Christina

1st day of summer( for the kids)

Yesterday( I wrote this on Wed) was officially the last day of school for the 2007-2008 school year. I am overflowing with enthusiasm as I sit here staring at my computer(witch by the way is on the fritz). So, the 1st day of Summer technically for my kids was today...I have already heard....I'm bored, stop it, quit that, don't touch, that's mine, leave me alone, can we do this, can we do that, MOM...MOM...MOM...ahhhh calgon take me away!!!!!!!! And this is only the 1st day of summer...what is a girl to do? I am going to take multiple trips.... one to PA, KY, FL, SC, and to TX. that should keep us good and busy for the summer break!! Oh yeah and my mom and Aaron's parents are going to come and visit. In the mean time I am going to keep them busy doing things around here, like pulling weeds, mowing the grass(if it ever decides to let the sun shine again), vacuuming the floor, so on and so on.....April, I might not need you to come and clean the whole summer( I bet you will like that) :)



Lets see the 1st day that they were out of school we did absolutely nothing!! I am on 6 different medications for various things and seem to have no energy what so ever!! They played all day and I did nothing...what a lazy bum I was. Oh well, I think we all have those days every once in a while..don't we?